Sometimes we take life for granted... we forget that our days are numbered.
I had a sobering reminder that life on this earth is finite. Earlier this week I rode with my good friend Jamie, to Houston to visit a friend of hers at a V.A. Hospital. "Elaina" is just 26 years old. Beautiful curly red hair, fair complexion. Jamie said that even though life had dealt Elaina a couple of rough moments, she was still happy and lived life to the fullest.
In November Jamie got a call. Elaina had been in a motorcycle wreck. At the time she was in stable condition but she would be paralyzed from mid-back down. The only thing Doctors could offer her, was the ability to eventually sit up. Jamie had tears in her eyes as she told me of the accident and the fate that was now to be Elaina's.
So when she asked if I would make the trip with her to Houston to see Elaina, I knew I was to say yes. When we arrived in Elaina's room, it was very clinical. There was however a large poster with pictures of Elaina with her friends and family, probably 40 photos in all.
As I was looking at them, her husband pointed to a photo and said "This is the night of the party, about an hour before the accident happened."
I looked closely at the photo. She had a huge grin on her face, a drink in her hand. She seemed carefree, almost with a laugh coming out of her mouth. She had no idea life was about to take such an uncertain turn. I wondered if she would have done anything different had she known what was about to happen?
The driver in the wreck suffered a crack to a vertebra in his neck and was sent home the next day with a neckbrace... expected to fully recover. Elaina, the passenger on the motorcycle, has lost all feeling from about her bra-line down. She can not sit up by herself yet. She will never walk again. She will never have children of her own. She had a trache, and it took much effort for her to talk. She had 40 large metal staples removed from her back the day we were there.
She was scared. I could tell. It's odd how you can see and smell fear. I saw it in her face even though I could tell she wanted to be brave. She cursed like a sailor, which under the circumstances made me laugh. I think it was her way of dealing with all that had just happened. But as the doctor and nurse manuevered her body so he could began removing the staples... her eyes flittered around the room. She grabbed the side rail, her face drained of color.
I wanted to ask to pray with her from the moment I met her, but really I am never so bold. I thought I shall return and ask her next time. But God laid on my heart that I should pray with her... I would try to silence the voice in my head, try to reason it out. Then they began moving her and the utter FEAR in her EYES was so powerful that I almost began to cry for her. She was TERRIFIED... I don't know the "hows" or the "whys" but I asked the doctor to stop and please let me pray with her... I grabbed her sweet hand and Jamie grabbed the other hand... and we began to pray for PEACE and COMFORT for Elaina ~ I don't even remember the words that came from my mouth... Elaina was clinging so tightly to my hand I think blood stopped flowing to it temporarily.
As I watched the doctor "YANK" the staples from her back I began to think... She clings to me and to the bed post so tightly because she doesn't know how to cling to God. She's never felt the love of Christ... and in the absense of an almighty God to cling to, we cling to other things.... other people, habits that lead to addictions, lifestyles, music, sex, food, money. And I am guilty of this... of clinging to people or things... and the truth is, it is NOT about them, but about the insecurities in me.
Why do we do that? Why do we look to external things in the hope that they will bring us internal joy? Only the light of God shining in us, and through us, being poured out and shared with others can bring true joy.
The God who created us, can sustain us. Only our creator can give us true joy. Only our creator can know the depths of our soul the way we long for another human being too.
The trip was a revelation for me. God is always teaching me; sometimes I am a good student, other times not so much... I pray Elaina finds the peace and strength only God can give. I pray that I learn to fully surrender to God's will in my life, that I know He is the one who can heal every wound, calm every heartbeat, who loves me completely as me. I pray that we all seek the divine purpose that God has for our lives.... and that he moves within us, and through us, to spread his message of love and mercy, the world over.
Peace and Love,
Jill
